Real Authentic Men – Wisdom

Ever been around anyone who just seems to ooze wisdom? I have and those people are very admirable to me. They seem to have the right answers at the right time and are able to speak into situations or people’s lives words that penetrate deeply. That is the type of man I hope to be.

I have this long standing dream of when I reach the age of 70 or older, people will seek me out because of the wisdom I posses. I desire to be recognized as someone who has the answers as well as having lived my life to the fullest each and every day. The other part I would like to be known for is that I was able to offer up the right words to say for any situation. That may be a far-fetched dream for some, but for me, this is what I truly desire. I am attempting to live each day fully and take in all I can so one day I become the man I wish to be.

So how does one become wise? Great question and I believe there are a few ways in which this can take place. First of all, if you want to be wise, study and read the book of Proverbs. Secondly, place wise men and women in your life who are genuine, honest and live lives of integrity. We tend to pick up traits and characteristics of those around us we admire. A lot of life has to do with stealing good ideas from other and applying it to our life.

I value others as they were designed in the image of God. Those I greatly respect and admire men and women whose very lives have been a living example of wisdom. The stories they have to share about their life experiences are valuable. We can glean so much from what they have to say. So many times they are taken for granted and just brushed aside as having no value, yet if you stop and really listen to them, you will be blown away with what they have to say and share in regards to life. I have gained many nuggets of wisdom I have applied to my life by just sitting and listening to an elderly person talk.

I believe in educating yourself on as many topics as you can. Read a book, research, talk to others who are involved in that area, do what ever you can to enrich your life and experience new activities. Life is full of so many things and you can become rich in experiences by taking part. I am never quite sure in this day and age how one becomes an expert on something. I don’t think raising 6 kids will make me an expert on parenting but I certainly will have gained many insights into child rearing I might not have if I hadn’t raised a large family. I don’t believe at any time you should stop educating yourself, we should always be a learner of life and what is available to us. I myself have lived a life of being an avid learner and not just going to college, but also finding other means to educate myself and know a little or sometimes a lot about certain topics.

Experience is a great teacher. We all make mistakes, part of the human part of living is learning to take risks and learn from our mistakes. If you aren’t trying, you’re not attempting and in my opinion you will have a very dull and boring life. We can continue to repeat the same mistakes or we can look at our mistake as an opportunity to change the future and make a wiser choice in the future.

3 years ago I was invited by a friend to get together with a group of 6 other men and read the book of Proverbs daily for a year. We met monthly and discussed how our lives changed as we read it monthly. Our group took on the name “Wise Guys”. That experience was deeply rewarding and I can say from my own experience I gained wisdom like I never had before. In the midst of going through that year I also read an article from a man who had middle school children and they read the book of Proverbs for 1 year and they shared how in reading and talking about it, the children shared how it helped them make wiser choices when they entered high school. That reinforced it for me and I began doing that daily with my own children as well as continuing to do it for myself. Reading through Proverbs and daily praying for wisdom has had a significant impact in how I make decisions. The “Wise Guys” group is still meeting and though we have moved on to other topics I feel like that was a pivotal year for me and I grew in ways I never imagined.

As a man, husband and father, I want my family to know that I am making wise solid decisions that have been thought out. I want them to trust and depend when I make a decision it’s generally going to be the correct one and yet when I do make a mistake, being man enough to admit that and ask for forgiveness. As a leader in many areas of my life where people are depending on me to make serious decisions affecting others lives, I believe the same principles apply. As men continuing to make wise choices and decisions, this soon becomes habit forming and eventually becomes a way of life. Living a life using wisdom often leaves me feeling good about my choices and with few regrets.

Real Authentic Men – Fairness

Fairness is defined as free from bias, dishonesty, or injustice

As I dad I really like this quote:
H. Jackson Brown Jr. – Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you.

Over the years, my kids have been known to throw out the phrase “That’s not fair.” To which my response is usually, “Well I love them more than you, so that’s why they get to do it and you don’t.” They know I am joking when I respond this way, but it does help them take a second look at the situation and their question. I have been able to teach my kids from a young age, life isn’t fair and because of sin entering the world, it will never be fair. Thankfully we all have a God who is gracious, loving and able to forgive us and give us a second chances.

In looking at life, it’s generally not about being fair by any means. Life throws curveballs at us all the time and we have to roll with the punches. Most folks want life to be fair and don’t understand why things aren’t fair. It’s a hard thing to understand and depending on your belief system you may never come to a good understanding of what fairness means. Even as adults there is something inside of us that really wants life to turn out fair. However I believe that if it was fair and we really got what we deserved, we would all be dead. How is that for fairness? Sin entered the world back in the Garden of Eden and it changed everything.  Thankfully Jesus came to change all of that.

I try to show fairness in my decisions. When it comes to really tough decisions, I will pray, seek wise counsel, think through situations and list out the pros and cons before making my decisions. I understand that I will never please everyone; I gave up trying long ago.  Using wisdom and making decisions I believe God has led me to allows me to be at peace with the situation. I live my life by the Golden Rule “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Here are examples of how I believe fairness can be demonstrated in all areas of life:

Practice the “Golden Rule”
Speak the truth in all that you do
Play by the same rules and make sure that everyone knows what those rules are
Think about how your actions will affect others.
Listen to people with an open mind
Don’t blame others for your mistakes
Don’t take advantage of other people
Don’t play favorites; make sure everyone is treated equal

As men and leaders we hold a significant amount of power in our hands. I am reminded of this statement from the movie Spiderman. “With great power comes great responsibility”. I hope that when decision times come, the choice that’s been made is a fair one.

When it comes to being fair, how would you rate yourself? Do you treat everyone in the same way? Do you hold the same standards to yourself as you do for others? What about in your decisions making?