Girls of Purpose Week – David Miles

As the father of a three and a half month old baby girl, I have quickly come to realize the joys of having a daughter as well as the great responsibility that comes with raising a child.

Although my parental feats to date include successfully changing multiple “blowouts,” purchasing her first souvenir (a stuffed duckling) while away on business and making her smile incessantly from kisses to her ticklish neck, the most important thing I have accomplished thus far is gaining the understanding that my daughter is God’s wonderful relational creation, not a project for me to manage or complete.

If you are anything like me, this is a hard pill to swallow at first because of the world that we live in. Our jobs require us to be task centric and results oriented, if we fail to tend to projects around the home our house falls into disarray and there are bills to pay, errands to run and diapers to change.

Unfortunately this attitude can and often does transfers over into our child rearing practices. We see families seeking out the most élite pre-schools and kindergartens to give their kids a leg up on getting into college. We see kids involved in activities every night of the week and if we’re completely honest we see ourselves trying to infuse into our children qualities or characteristics that we like about ourselves or others.

While education, involvement and taking after daddy, may not seem too bad on the surface, if we’re not careful we will end up parenting in a transactional sort of way. We will become project managers focused on worldly success rather than relational fathers and mothers who are concerned with shepherding their children.

This is not what God intended, nor is it what He models for us.

God created us to live in relationship and community with Him. He created us to be loved by Him and to love Him and others. And while He has blessed each of us with varying gifts, talents, abilities and passions, He doesn’t micromanage. God provides us with guidance, and wisdom, support and encouragement through Scripture, prayer and the influence of Godly people in our lives. He invites us into a relational environment where we can grow into the people He has designed us to be.

As the father of a beautiful little girl, I believe I will greatly miss the mark as a parent if I don’t do the same. My daughter is not another project for me to accomplish. She is not a goal for me to achieve. She is God’s precious gift to me and her mother and we are to be good stewards of this gift. Appreciating her for the unique individual that she s.

I believe we are to love and support, encourage and guide her in the same way that our Heavenly Father, looks after us. And through that relationship, she will come to flourish as a girl and later woman of purpose.

David is a class act guy, you can find David on Twitter @davidnmiles and please show him some love over at his Blog David Miles/ 24/7 Life 

Who I am…

There are a lot of things that can be said about a person…good, bad and otherwise…

My hope is that when I come to the end of my life people will say that mine was a life well lived. A life full of laughter, passion and integrity.

I want to be remembered as a person who took time for others, a person who loved his family and lived out his faith.

There are a lot of other things that I could tell you about myself, but I believe this to be most important.

Why this blog…

As for this blog…well, I hope to provide you with a glimpse into my perspective on life, parenting, ministry and any number of other random topics that come to mind as I daydream and attempt to truly experience a life well lived.

What do I enjoy…

Speaking… writing… ForzaCoffee… sports… snowshoeing… hiking… cycling… my dog Cooper… movies… good books… no water chi… architecture… dinner with friends… fantasy football… green tea mochi… Phad Thai… Bellngham, WA… snow… Christmas… family… shoes… Nat King Cole… gardening… watches… madden ’09… big tvs… vacations… photography…


About Chris Goforth

West Coast Hipster Ninja husband and Papa- allowing Jesus to impact every aspect of my life while raising 6 kids, taking photos, being outdoors & playing Settles of Catan. View all posts by Chris Goforth

8 responses to “Girls of Purpose Week – David Miles

  • Cindy Holman

    Aww – this is so great! Love the pictures, David! Love hearing your thoughts on parenting too – great stuff, my friend!

    • David

      Thanks Cindy, I am so excited about this parenting journey. I have so much to learn but I am thrilled to have the privilege of doing do.

      Glad you like the pictures!

  • John Wylie

    Fantastic blog – not a father myself, but I am an uncle to a 7 month old baby girl. The joy she brings my heart is incredible. Simply cannot wait to be a father of my own child. What a joy!

    • David

      Hi John, fatherhood is fantastic and it sounds like you have a great opportunity to start learning the ropes with your niece.

      There is no doubt that being a dad is an incredible blessing and I pray you have the opportunity to experience it some day.

      God bless!

  • ThatGuyKC

    Excellent post! Thank you for the reminder that my kids aren’t projects. I often fall into the trap of focusing on the training of my kids instead of on the relationship. I think it’s safe to say that the most healthy and successful kids are those who are loved (not pampered or babied) and respected by their parents. Sometimes it’s tough love, but it’s the underlying theme.

    • David

      Thanks KC. We definitely need to guide our kids and train them up in the way that they should go, but it should not be our objective to create little miniature versions of the people we would like to be ourselves. We should create an environment where they can grow into the people God has created them to be and I believe we do this by emphasizing relationship. Truthfully, if I look at Ella as a project that I have to complete I am going to mess her up. But if I love her, relate to her, guide her and at time discipline her all in the context of a loving relationship I’m going to be much better off.

  • Dustin

    Brilliant- loved these words, David. As someone who is in the corporate world I can relate to the “task centric and results oriented” that I tend to place on myself from time to time. Thanks for the reminder to stay relational with my girls, and not look at spending time with them as a checklist or to-do.

  • David

    Hey Dustin, I’m glad these thoughts resonated with you. Because my daughter is still very young I’m trying to create some habits so that I can avoid this trap. Do you have any suggestions of things that might have worked for you?

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