Real Authentic Men – Sincerity

Do the words that come out of your mouth sound sincere? Are they free from deceit, hypocrisy or duplicity?
Are you able to say something to another person that comes across in a sincere tone?

I love sarcasm and I am the king of it in my house. I enjoy watching folks engage in sarcastic banter. A couple of my favorite shows are Saturday Night Live and The Office. To watch what these actors do and how they engage in it has brought me endless laughs. I own every copy of Jack Handy’s “Deep Thoughts” and I have a poster up in my office of Michael Scott. The cynical person inside of me identifies with this all to well.

I tend to find others who have the same traits.  I can go head to head in a battle of sarcasm, talking back and forth in the most sarcastic tones.  At 40 years of age it’s an easy and all too familiar place for me.  Joking around and laugher is an absolute daily necessity for me. Most of the time wherever I am and whatever I am doing I am trying to change things up and have some fun.

There is a down side to all of this. When I am talking at home with my wife or kids, when I am with friends, I’ve found I need pull back and rein it in. When I hear people ask me “are you serious” or “are you joking around”, I know that it’s time to stop. I always have something funny I want to say and sometimes my funny witticisms; have no place in the context of the conversation. I just need to stop, listen to what’s being said and respond with sincerity.

I find that sarcasm is all too common place in our society today. We make jokes about everything and say things sarcastically if otherwise stated would be hurtful or callous. Somehow stating things in a sarcastic or joking way means it’s acceptable to say it even when it isn’t nice. In essence if I am feeling a certain way or thinking something I can say it sarcastically and it will be received better than if I had just come out and said exactly what I thought. In a world where being PC is mandatory I can see why sarcasm has become rampant.

So in regards to men where does sincerity come into play? To be real and authentic I believe it means there is a time and place for joking around.  However when you’re having a heart to heart discussion with others; there is no place for it. I believe you can cross the line with sarcasm to the point people will think all you ever do is talk in that way.  Soon people aren’t comfortable talking about life with you. This can be very damaging in relationships. Humor has a place, but there are times where it is just not called for. A wise man knows the difference.

Sincerity means being authentic and speaking in a way that shows a genuine interest in what the other person has to say. Put yourself in the other person’s spot. If you were to take what was just shared, turn it around and offer it up as your own story, would you want someone making jokes about it? Would you want someone to be sincere in their response? I am hoping you are opting for sincerity. I know when I am sharing something important with another person the last type of response I want is sarcastic. I want them to respond with care and concern.

I believe as men, its time we stand up and show other men what it’s like to be sincere. Too often we come across being less than sincere. Today is the day where we draw the line in the sand and step up to the plate and talk to others in a real and sincere manner.

How do you demonstrate sincerity?


About Chris Goforth

West Coast Hipster Ninja husband and Papa- allowing Jesus to impact every aspect of my life while raising 6 kids, taking photos, being outdoors & playing Settles of Catan. View all posts by Chris Goforth

14 responses to “Real Authentic Men – Sincerity

  • Larry Hehn

    I too am fluent in sarcasm. I’ve also noticed that sometimes it doesn’t translate well, especially through the written word where facial expression and body language are lost. I try to keep a careful eye on it with my writing and also in my daily banter. I think it’s important to be deliberate about expressing sincerity more often than joking around, though there’s a time and place for both. I’ve met people who treat everything like a joke, and even though they have much to contribute they are not taken seriously after a while. I find that sarcasm is more “me” oriented than my regular conversation. When I focus more on others and their needs, the conversation seems to fall into place much better.

    • Goforth's Journal

      I can only imagine what conversation would be like between us. Great point Larry, when we focus on other, we take the me out of it. Good words to live by. Thanks for your comments. Really appreciate them.

  • Ben

    Just getting into this now, after a few years of shutting that portion out of my life I’ve decided to bring it back, as it makes Me, Me.

  • leebodenmiller

    I agree, and so much of sitcom tv depicts dads and husbands as that sarcastic all the time guy. When really sarcasm is just destruction in clown’s clothing. My wife and I have been trying to not be sarcastic at all and it really helps.

    • Goforth's Journal

      You are absolutely right and it’s something I truly despise. We don’t have to be or look like those men on TV, but can demonstrate something quite different.
      Thanks for your comments. Appreciate it.

  • Justin

    Great post, Chris. I think sincerity is best displayed through consistency. I used to live in sarcasm. But, I’ve realized that over time, it breaks down people’s resolve. Even our own. It doesn’t build others up – but it tears them down…in a subtle way. I’m still guilty of it – but I’m more aware when I do it and how it’s affecting others. That’s when I know I need to relate differently….but it has to be consistent, otherwise, it’s still eating away at us.

  • ThatGuyKC

    Great stuff! I like to say that sarcasm runs in my blood because my mom is from NYC. The capital of sarcasm.

    That being said I’m with you in having to rein it in. I tend to get out of hand and try to avoid it all together because I play for keeps.

  • Alex

    I totally agree. I have found myself in situations like this before and I just had to pause and really be serious because I knew that I was hurting someones feelings. All men need to know when to joke and when to be serious.

    Thanks for sharing! Your posts are really encouraging:)

  • Jason

    Great post man. Sarcasm is something that has been my default setting for a long time. I’ve had to really reign it in over the years.

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